Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey, it’s Vlad. Lately I have noticed that certain members of the Novosibirsk 9 have been putting on a few extra “LBs”. One fox in particular seems to be the worst. I am not going to mention any names as to not shame anyone, but I will say his name does rhyme with curry. When I questioned Mr. Tikka Masala about it he said he had no idea what could be causing his weight gain. Checking out his food cache, I found it was full of a type of Italian cookie called Tiliccas di sapa. I took a look at the ingredients for these cookies and it read as follows…LARD, BUTTER, MORE LARD, FLOUR, SUGAR, ORANGES. He said he was eating them because he thought with all the viruses going around the oranges would give him extra vitamin C. He has been giving the cookies to everyone and telling them they’re a health food. I told him that first of all, foxes don’t need vitamin C cause we make our own and secondly…he’s a moron. Anyway, with the seasons changing we have lost our thick winter coats and our thin summer coats will show off every little roll. I needed to get these guys on a fitness program ASAP.

Luckily for my fellow ambassadors, I am well versed in multiple techniques of body transformation. I put together a program based on elements of Tae bo, fused with navy seal training. I posted a short video that shows me supervising a workout. You will see that not everyone was feeling the burn. Overall however, it went pretty well. Soon everyone will return to being lean, mean conservation machines….assuming we can keep Mr. Tandoori chicken off of calories r us.com.

Vlad out.

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