Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey, it’s Vlad. I’m trying find my compatriots so we can finish our last meeting that, as you may recall, had to be canceled on account of Yuri’s gluttony. Our howling, healing and harmonies fundraiser is coming up and we need to talk about making it a success. The money raised will go towards the care of the canid residents at JABCECC as well our programs designed to make you better humans.

You see whether you believe it or not, there is a lot people can learn from canids. We have more in common with you than you may think. The part of our brain where emotions arise is almost identical to that of the human brain. The difference is you guys have a ginormous neocortex. This “creative brain” is what has given the world space travel, the internet and microwaveable pizza…in no particular order of importance. It has also given you spitefulness, vindictiveness, contempt and bipolar disorder. We canids know that happiness comes from harmony with our environment which helps create harmony with our emotions, and vise versa. I call this The Tao of Vlad. The problem for you humans comes when the part of your brain that evolved to handle emotions a few hundred thousand years ago competes with the part that has been doing it for 250 million years. You can learn from us canids how to avoid this by not always listening to that know it all, Debbie downer neocortex…Just got a message from HR. Apparently legal contacted them and they want me to post the following disclaimer.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Foxes are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Not sure why they are making such a big deal about this. When Sergei was trying to sell fox pee as a treatment for male pattern baldness nobody said anything. The only thing that stopped him was he couldn’t decide whether to call it “foxy locks” or “chrome dome-mycin”

Vlad out.

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