Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Ever since I told my fans that I was a practitioner of the martial art Moo Goo Gui Pan, my inbox has been full of inquiries wanting to know more about this fighting style. No problem. Sit back and hear the “tail” of this wildly clever art.
Master Kikkoman had just returned home from Brazil, where he competed in the “Fists for the Forest” charity Ju Jitsu match. All proceeds from this event went towards Brazilian rainforest conservation efforts. He was celebrating his second place finish with dinner at PF Changs. While a very accomplished martial artist, master Kikkoman always felt something was missing in the styles he had studied. He ordered his usual, Ma Po tofu...extra soy sauce.
Seated at the adjacent table was young Tommy Bellagamba. He was also there for a celebration...admission into the Sudsy Pooch dog grooming academy. Neither of these two realized the significance of destiny bringing them together that night. Tommy, having never used chopsticks before, clumsily attempted to pick up a potsticker. Instead of hoisting the tasty morsel to his mouth, the slimy dumpling slid out of the chopsticks and shot on to the floor. Simultaneously, a waiter was delivering an order of General Chang’s chicken to table 14. He slipped on the potsticker which made the platter of chicken go airborne, striking master Kikkoman on the left temple. The impact created an altered state of consciousness in the master. During this time of impaired reality everything became clear to him. All the secrets of self defense are hidden in the animal kingdom.
His first vision was that of a red fox. An animal known for its ability to survive in many different environments. The words “he who can adapt will always hold the right key” rang in the masters head. Next he saw an African painted dog. These Canids form large packs which make them one of the most successful hunters on the African plains. The thought, “Strength comes not from within you but from….Oh oh, Looks like I have to go. Sasha bet Yuri he couldn’t get 15 cream puffs in his mouth and now he may need the Heimlich. I’ll finish the story next time.
Vlad out.