Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey, it’s Vlad. We just got some “glamour shots” back that Yuri had taken by a photographer that goes by the name Dandelion Dreams. Now I told Yuri he should lay of the bearclaws for a few weeks before the shoot so he would be in peak condition. As you can see he did not heed my advise. I wanted him to be a lean mean foxy machine but instead he was a flabby gabby foxy fatty.

My purpose here is not to body shame Yuri. If eating large quantities of breakfast pastries makes him happy, who am I to judge him for that. I just question how seriously Yuri takes his job. He is an ambassador for all foxes both in captivity and living in the wild. Many of these animals survive by virtue of their cunning nature and their athleticism. I am just not sure how well Yuri, walking around like the Pillsbury dough boy, represents that. When I talk to him about this he just tells me to stop being a buzzkill and walks away. Yuri truly has a lot of nerve saying that to me. He seems to have forgotten who saved him when he crawled into an empty box of sticky buns only to find out it was not quite empty. The residual icing in the box stuck to his hair and bonded the box to his a** 🐴. He walked around that way for hours before I saw him and alerted management. We have a special term for just this type of occurrence...we call it a code dingbat. We have this drill down quite well as unfortunately this was not Yuri’s first code dingbat...he is actually the poster child for them.

Vlad out