Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. So there’s been some discussion amongst us ambassadors as to which of us has the nicest smile. I am sure you would all agree that it is clearly evident that the correct answer to that question is me. In my typical humble manner I mentioned this to the other ambassadors. And then, OMG, you would have thought I just peed on their favorite breakfast. They all started throwing insults at me like like this was some kind of dysfunctional celebrity roast. First panda 🐼 chimes in and says “sure Vlad, they say your smile is contagious… just like Ebola”. Then Sergei takes a jab. “Vlad, it’s been said smiles are free therapy….in your case electroconvulsive shock therapy. It is at this point that I realized this inhumane treatment was not going to stop and I needed to fight back so I gave Sergei a real zinger. “Serg, I am rubber you are glue anything you say bounces of of me and sticks to you.” I am sure that really set him back on his heals. Then Lena try’s to stick up for her brother Sergei and says “Vlad, your smile is so cheesy it attracts mice”. To which I say, “sure Lena, I heard your village called ..they want their idiot back.”. Vlad 2 idiots 0. Not to be left out of the melee Leika pipes in and says “ they say a smile brightens the day but your smile is like starring at the sun until your retinas are pools of seared flesh”. I say “ really Leika, I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and 💩 out a more clever statement than that”....burn!! It then seemed like Yuri was going to add his two cents but he just asked if anyone had any bear claws. It was then Vasily’s turn to take a shot at your favorite fox. He says, “Vlad, when you flash your pearly whites, it makes me want to dim the lights. I come back with, “yo Vasily, if I gave you a penny for your thoughts I would expect change back”. I was just getting warmed up here but luckily for everyone else Lucan, the coyote girls, Nicky and Stumpy started singing which distracted the others. Simple minds are easily distracted. They all retreated to lick their wounds, while I celebrated my victory....smiling the whole time.
Vlad out.