Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. This week I got my picture taken and one of the pics seemed perfect for Tongue out Tuesday. The problem is my main social media presence occurs on Friday and Tongue out Friday just doesn’t seem to cut it. I have thought about doing a Fanny out Friday cause I do have an exceptionally nice tushy and I certainly could bring booty back but then I was told that the word fanny does not mean buttocks in some places of the world. Of course, this is only a problem because of my international fame. This alternative meaning would require an OnlyFans page which wouldn’t work for my alter boy persona. Other body parts that begin with F just don’t work. I mean Frontal lobe out Friday is interesting due to the cerebral nature of our chats but I’m just concerned someone would take that too literally.
The bloke who took this picture had an easy job cause It’s hard to take a bad picture of me. When I got the picture back at first glance it looked great, but on closer inspection I see this ginormous eye booger. Foxes are denning animals so we dig a lot and eye boogers are nature’s way of removing the crud but no one wants to exhibit theirs to the world. I asked the photographer to photoshop it out and he says “he is an artist and that would lack authenticity”. Really?? you give a guy an iPhone with portrait mode and suddenly he thinks he’s Ansel Adams. I say come on dude let’s lose the booger. He then tells me about the “narrative” of the picture. It is me shedding a tear for all my brethren foxes on fur farms living awful lives to satisfy the horrific vanity of some people. Now he thinks he’s Steven Spielberg. All of us ambassadors work hard to bring awareness about the plight of my “brethren” and have shed tears but this is not a tear, its a booger.
To add insult to injury, Panda sees the picture and starts calling me “booger King” Then Sergei comes up and says “your like McDonald’s...billions of boogers served. I should have used our normal photographers. As for this putz...he will rue the day 💩 💩
Vlad out