Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey, it’s Vlad. We were assigning chores yesterday and I drew the short straw so I got the one task that no one wants…Yep, you guessed it, I got doody duty. Now I know what you’re all thinking…a fox with your unlimited talents should not be wasting his valuable time cleaning up the excrement of his underlings. While that it true, I really don’t mind. You see when the others view me performing a task that is so clearly beneath me, it creates the illusion that I am no better than them. It also shows my humility, cause every one knows I ooze humility like an infected cyst oozes purulent material. To be an effective leader, it is important for your followers to see you “roll up your sleeves” and do the work of the common man…or in this case the common fox, even if that work is scooping scat. I really need to consider running some workshops on leadership.

I will tell you, one does learn a lot about your bunk mates by performing this duty. Take Lena for instance…everyone’s sweetheart. I went to work on her poo pile and I briefly thought someone had let an anaconda into our enclosure. I’m sure you can all guess what cleaning up after Yuri is like, a fox with a diet that consists largely of pastries. And then there’s my archnemesis, cute little Panda. For all you Freudians out there, I would categorize her as anal expulsive. As far as Panda’s personality this means she exhibits cruelty, emotional outbursts, disorganization, self-confidence, rebelliousness and general carelessness. As far as being her janitor this means, I think I need a bigger pooper scooper. Thankfully I’m only responsible for tidying up after us foxes. If I had to venture down to clean up after everyone’s favorite #dorkwolf Lucan, it would require heavy equipment.

Lesson for the day. When life gives you a pile of poop, you’re gonna get dirty—so you may as well roll with it.