Hey, it’s Vlad. Well it happened. I was told by management that I need to become more sensitive. This is of course preposterous, as can be seen from the pictures I posted. After some intense negotiations, it was decided that they would not send me away for sensitivity training but rather they would bring in a personal sensitivity coach.
I met this coach yesterday, his name is Mr. Daniel Druff. Ok…so they get me a coach named Dan Druff, and they expect me to be sensitive about it. Are they just setting me up to fail? How could I NOT say something like, “my new coach was 10 minutes late for our appointment, I think he’s a bit flaky”. Anyway, I meet this guy and he is just way too positive. He greets me by saying “he hopes I’m having a spectacular day and then asks me if I know why management wanted him to meet with me”. I said “I didn’t know, their decision has left me scratching my head”. I think that statement went right over his head & shoulders cause he just kept talking.
Mr. Dan Druff then tells me he’s been told I don’t validate what others feel, and he has some “superdupper” tips to help me be more sensitive.
I asked Mr. Druff if he had any idea about my countless responsibilities. I told him about the large number of foxes that live awful lives and die heinous deaths on fur farms around the world. The coyotes that fall victim to cruel killing contests. Wolves that are slaughtered on account of an ethos, in some communities, that views them as evil beings that need to be eradicated from this planet. And don’t get me started about the millions of domesticated dogs that are killed because no one wants them. So I asked Mr. Dan Druff if he had any idea what it’s like to have that burden fall on your shoulders?? He then tells me what I described is horrendous and I’m clearly highly sensitive to take on that burden. He goes on to say I just hide it under my snarky exterior. I tell him poppycock, I’m an open book and hide nothing. At that point Dan Druff says “we have a lot of work to do Mr. Vlad” and walks away shaking his head vigorously…Winter storm alert.
Vlad (Mr. Sensitivity) out