Fridays Chat w/ Vlad - Aug 13, 2021

Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hello, it’s Wilson. I know y’all were expecting a “Hey it’s Vlad” but you won’t be hearing from Vlad this week. Last night he asked me if I could fill in for him. Actually, that is not 100% accurate. Last night he TOLD me I WOULD be filling in for him. This is the note I got. “Hey Willy, you’ll need to do my chat on Friday. I’ll be otherwise occupied. If you get stuck for something to say just talk about how great I am. People can’t get enough of that. You’ll do great. Hugs, Vladdy”. From what I have been able to learn about Vlad, when he says “otherwise occupied” it has something to do with world domination. Anyway, it’s great to meet everyone. I am the newest member of the JABCECC team. I came here with my sister Agnes. We were both orphaned when we were just a few days old and our mommy died. No one knows exactly how it happened, but seeing how so many people hate coyotes it would not be a surprise to find that humans where involved. We were found by some people who thought we were wonderful and deserved a life. I have to think our mommy was looking over us and guided these people to us. My sister and I made our way to our foster mom who bottle fed us to keep us alive. We are very grateful for everything she did for us. As we got older our foster mom realized we could not stay with her forever. Also, we never learned how to live like wild coyotes and we associated humans with positive things so our chance of survival, if we were set free, was very low. Our foster mom searched the country for a home for us. Everyone was so happy when JABCECC reached out and said they could provide a forever home for both me and my sister. I argue with my sis sometimes, when I’m mad at her instead of calling her Agnes I call her Anus, but I don’t know what I would do without her. In the habitat next to ours at JABCECC we have an emotional support wolf named Lucan. In the wild wolves and coyotes would not get along so the staff here wasn’t sure we could stay next to him. It turns out we love the guy and he loves us as well. When we grow up we would like to teach the world that coyotes aren’t evil and make our mommy proud.

Fridays Chat w/ Vlad - Aug 20, 2021

Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey it’s Vlad. So did everyone miss me? I know, that is a silly question, of course you missed me. So let me tell you I had quite an experience last week. I was sitting in my house having very deep thoughts. You know the type..what is the meaning of life, is it more important to be liked or respected, if a cannibal eats a clown would they say this tastes funny? Anyway, I suddenly become aware of a bit of a rumbling in my stomach. It had been a few hours since my last meal and I was getting a bit hungry. As luck would have it my strong sense of hearing picked up on a distinctive buzzing sound. There was a fly somewhere nearby. A little sky raisin would be just what I needed to tide me over until my next meal. We foxes do enjoy eating bugs. They actually have high amounts of the amino acid taurine in their nervous systems which is good for foxes. Soon I was able to catch a glimpse of the flavorful fly on the other side of my enclosure. I sprung into action, quickly closing the distance between me and my soon to be snack. Of course the other foxes in the enclosure noticed my sudden burst of activity. If I was not careful one of them could get to it first. Thinking quick, I blurted out that I just had a leg cramp and needed to work it out. This clever ruse gave me the time I need to leap into the air and catch the fly in my mouth. Ok, so this is where things started to go bad. I suddenly felt a burning sensation and quickly realized my afternoon snack was actually one of those jalapeño sky raisins also known as bee. I must have let out a yelp as the others inquired if I was ok. Not wanting to admit my error I said “of course”. Now my tongue must of been swelling a bit as Sergei asked if I just said saw horse. I started walking back but must have been trying too hard to seem normal as I tripped over a pink squeaky pig and fell face first into the dirt right on top of the pig. I was writhing around trying to get up and that pig just kept oinking at me. Vasily comes over and says “Dude, you look like a pufferfish with a peanut allergy in a peanut factory”. Yes, my face was swollen. How was your week?

Vlad out
#vlad

Fridays Chat w/ Vlad - Aug 27, 2021

Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey it’s Vlad. Sometimes conservation work gives me whiplash. For every bit of good new, there seems to be an equal amount of bad news. So which would you like first the good news or the bad news? It turns out you humans have actually studied this. When you ask which news people want first, 78% of them say they would like the bad news first. However, when you ask the person (or fox I imagine) which news they would like to give first, most say the good news. Further, when you examine the mood of the individual after both pieces of news, those that got the bad news first were happier. So it would make me happy to give you the good news first but it would make you happy to get the bad news first. Seeing as I am such a selfless giver, I will tell you the bad news first.

You know how wolves were recently removed from the endangered species list right. And then you know how the states where the majority of wolves live started campaigns to exterminate them? It was said that this policy was a product of the last people in charge and the new people in charge would surely reverse this policy. We now know the answer to this question. The current people in charge decided it was ok for the states to keep killing wolves. Doesn’t this just frost you? Wolves are such important members of the ecosystem and yet some people think it’s a good idea to reduce their numbers to levels that set back conservation efforts by many years.

Ok, so now the good news. You have probably heard about the fires burning in Northern California. Some of these fires are in an area that is known to be inhabited by two wolf packs, the Lassen pack and the Whaleback pack. Given the magnitude of these fires biologists were fearful that none of these wolves could have survived. A recent expedition sent out to check on the status of the packs found them alive and well. When the researchers approached the pack they immediately ran away but the biologists did spot this years puppies. GPS data from the tracking collar on the mother shows when the fire burned through she stayed with her pups instead of fleeing for safety. What a mom.

Vlad out
#jabcecc #friday

Fridays Chat w/ Vlad - Sept 3, 2021

Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey it’s Vlad. During the course of our chats you have had the incredible opportunity to get to know many aspects of me. You have learned about Vlad the leader, Vlad the conservationist, Vlad the humorist, Vlad the musician and Vlad the romantic. The side you have not seen yet is Vlad the cultured intellectual. So today we will rectify that with a poetry reading. Here is a poem by Stuart Hill

A VERSUS OF VIXENS
A versus of vixens
Cracked the day
In bright brittle shards
Of scattered screams
And broken barks.
We thought squirrels
Had been trapped
In a cage of teeth
And intents of death
But instead
Two living flames
Of rivalry,
Russet red with rage,
Fought a war
In lexicons
of fox and ferocity.
Until one withdrew
In a tumbled tangle
Of limbs and loss,
Bloodied and bowed
By whatever wounding word
Had found its mark.

Ok, so this poem says a lot about foxes. We are often all bark and no bite. If you guys could hear Sophie and Laika screaming you would know exactly what I am talking about. I would also say we are looking at iambic pentameter here with a delightful usage of alliteration. I also see the symbolism that alludes to the existential threat that occurs when ones color is described as a type of potato.

That was fun, here is one by D Rodgers called What Does the Fox Say

Vulpine barhopper
bays pick up line to new moon
Mama-dum-day-do

This one is in the form of haiku which is a Japanese form of poetry. Foxes are revered in Japan where they have shrines dedicated to them. I think a Vlad shrine would be delightful by the way. Back to the poem. Who doesn’t like the use of onomatopoeia in a poem.

And lastly and certainly not leastly here is a Vlad original.

There was this fox who liked eating ducks
Which made many around call him a schmucks
He said what’s the big deal
What I have for my meal
Frankly I just don’t give two fox.

I am sure you can all see the masterful usage of both the implicit and the explicit when describing the plight of this fox just trying satisfy his gastronomic desires. Do any of you have any favorite fox poems you would like to talk about?

Vlad out

Fridays Chat w/ Vlad - Sept 10, 2021

Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey it’s Vlad. Ok, so heads are going to roll. One of my “friends” here, thought it would a good idea to leak one of my baby photos to the interwebs in an attempt to embarrass me. I am sure you all can relate . You know the scenario. You’re sitting around with family and friends looking at photos when suddenly one is revealed that makes you want to hide under the cheese tray. It’s you, two years old, naked, fat rolls like the Michelin man, sitting on the potty with a silly grin on your face. Or better yet, naked, dimpled ass hoisted into the air, laying on a shag rug and once again, silly grin on face. Then of course there are the bathtub photos. Friends and family get quite a kick seeing you squirm, while you are trying to pretend you are not humiliated. Of course whichever of my “friends” posted this will have their ploy fail. Why?? Because I was the cutest baby ever, that’s why. And the rolls that might appear to be baby fat in the picture, are actually composed of baby muscle. Regardless of the failure, this betrayal will not go unanswered. Some say that revenge is a dish best served cold...I say no way, it is best served with a flaming bag of poo 💩. I just need to figure out the perpetrator. Viktor, Maksa and Mikhail are always too busy with their pub crawls, photo sessions and encounters to do something like this. That leaves one of the Novosibirsk nine, Lucan and the Coyote girls. Agnes and Wilson, the yote girls, are still getting used to stuff around here so I don’t think they did it. One of the Novo nine certainly would have the motive, jealousy, and the means, but maybe not the opportunity since we are together all the time. This dastardly deed would certainly fit the modus operandi of the #dorkwolf, and we have had dust ups in the past, but I don’t think he would have access to this picture. He would need an accomplice. I did see Panda 🐼 and Lucan together the other day. They will pay.

Vlad out

Fridays Chat w/ Vlad - Sept 24, 2021

Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey it’s Vlad. Ok so I’m not dead, I’m just totally exhausted. We had a group of researchers from the Canine Science Collaboratory at ASU out doing behavioral testing on us. Me, being the leader, had to make sure everyone played their part. Us Russian foxes had to be super friendly and yet sly and cunning. The American girls had to just try to hold it together. And then there’s Lucan our resident #dorkwolf. He just needed to be regal and aloof. Did he succeed? Have you seen the video of him? He wasn’t aloof, he was a great big doof. It wasn’t enough that he ran right up to this stranger and started licking him, he had to climb on him and get right in his grill. It looked like he was giving this poor guy a lap dance. Luckily the tester was a professional and took everything in stride. I, however, was mortified.

This test is designed to quantify how much canids like people, both familiar and unfamiliar. It consists of having a person sit in the middle of a 1 meter circle. The amount of time we spend in the circle with the human is recorded and used to determine how social we are. Dogs, for instance spend nearly all their time with the person. Foxes spend somewhat less….and #dorkwolves? Once again you’ve seen that Greek tragedy. This group has been collecting data for several years and should have a paper coming out soon. While we were not able to see the data, from what I heard and saw us Russian Foxes are going to be deemed as pretty special. And what about #dorkwolves? Don’t even get me started. I think we may have to send him away to join the circus, he would fit right in with the clowns.

Vlad out

#jabcecc #fridaychatwvlad #sandiego #socal #redfox #behavior #testing #conservation #canine #cognition #animal #tired #friday

Fridays Chat w/ Vlad - Oct 1, 2021

Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey it’s Vlad. All the ambassadors at JABCECC stand in solidarity with Lucan on his request for people to contact the Dept. of Fish & Wildlife and tell them to relist gray wolves to the endangered species list. As a fox, I know what it is like to killed for just being a fox. Millions of us die on fur farms every year. And then there’s fox hunting. Can anyone explain to me why some humans get off on seeing a fox ripped apart by dogs?? England passed laws to ban this but the law has so many loopholes that the hunt continues. Us Belyaev foxes were bred to love people but hearing all this makes it hard.

Agnes and Wilson, the coyote girls also support Lucan. There is hardly a more persecuted animal on the planet than the yotes. Killing contest sponsored by churches where the one who kills the most coyotes gets a lifetime subscription to field and stream magazine and a pocket fishermen. 1000s of coyotes are killed this way...come on people.

Grey wolves were hunted to near extinction in the United States. It is only thanks to a recovery plan put in place in the 80s that they exist today. They still only inhabit a small percent of their historic range. When the wolf came off the endangered species list, people at the state level who were entrusted with managing wolf populations are in some cases the same people that have social media pages about how to shoot a wolf and make it suffer maximally. It just makes no sense. As we speak there are hunters standing just outside Yellowstone Park waiting for a wolf to cross that line from federal land to state land. There have already been multiple wolves that have lost their lives this way. This isn’t just tragic for the individual wolf, the whole pack suffers. A wolf pack is just a family, they depend on one another. People who say the killing of a wolf does not affect the pack need to imagine loosing a member of their family. We have an opportunity to do something about this now. Please submit a comment at the following link.

https://www.regulations.gov/document/FWS-HQ-ES-2021-0106-0001

If you don’t, Vlad here may just have to leave something on your porch 💩 💩

Vlad out

Fridays Chat w/ Vlad - Oct 8, 2021

Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey, it’s Vlad. Today I’m gonna answer a few letters from members of my fan club. Yes...I have a fan club. It’s members are no doubt highly intelligent, good looking, delightful smelling, morally virtuous individuals. Real pillars of society. They join because they want to celebrate ME, & become canid crusaders. By my side, they fight for the lives of canids everywhere. They call themselves...the VLADIATORS.

The first letter comes from Chase, writing from Mud Butte SD

“Dear Vlad. What’s the deal between you and Lucan? Sometimes it seems like you two are the best of friends and other times it seems like you want to put cyanide in his kibble. #vladiatorsrule”

Chase, relationships can be complicated. Lucan and I get along fine and we both love our roles as ambassadors at JABCECC. You need to understand that we are very different beings. We agree when we can, disagree when we must, and always keep in mind that we share a common purpose. A great philosopher once said that relationships are like farts... If you push them too hard you’re just gonna get 💩.

The next letter is by Ruth of Humptulips WA.

“Hi Vlad ❤️ You are Soooo awesome and you’re such a hunk 💜. Will you marry me???❤️ 👰‍♀️ “

Hi Ruth, I am very flattered, really...but for obvious reasons it would never work out. 🦊 ≠👩

Now we’ll hear from Tammy Sue from Bugtussle KY.

“Howdy Vlad darlin’. Let me just say I’m happier than ol’ Blue layin’ on the porch, chewin’ on a big ol’ catfish head to be a Vladiator. I have loved foxes since I was knee high to a grasshopper. And you Vlad, you are to foxes as Waffle House is to high cholesterol. I reckon the awful things that some people do to canids makes me madder than a mule chewin’ on bumblebees. This Vladiator is ready to kick those evil doers where sun don’t shine.”

Hi Tammy Sue. Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Your letter made me grin more than a possum eatin’ a sweet tater.

Well what do you think? Aren’t my VLADIATORS awesome? Do you think you have what it takes to join the club? Can you imagine the joy it would bring you to think about my greatness 24/7? Tell me about it in the comments
- Vlad out

Fridays Chat w/ Vlad - Oct 15, 2021

Friday Chat w/ Vlad

Hey, it’s Vlad. Autumn has fallen upon the JAB Conservation and Education center. There is now a very evident chill to the air in the mornings. Vibrant green leaves are giving way to yellows and browns. The most telling sign of all is ambassador Ishy getting her winter coat. Unlike us Russian foxes, Ishy’s close relatives were selectively bred for fur quality. As we get closer to winter, Ishy will begin to resemble what can most accurately be described as a bloated marshmallow. This trait has earned her the nickname “Ishy Squishy”. Rather undignified if you ask me, but fitting none the less. While nothing like Ishy, us Russians are also getting a thicker coat. Some have commented that the Georgian reds Sasha and Vasily look like toasted marshmallows. And then there’s Viktor. He is a prime example of what not being bred for coat quality but rather for behavior can do. Frankly his attempts at getting a winter coat are down right embarrassing. At times he looks like a chupacabra with partial alopecia having a bad hair day. Of course my coat is perfect.

Truth be told it never really gets too cold at the center. We were born in Novosibirsk Russia which is in Siberia. If the mercury hits 0 F in the winter it is considered a balmy day. Some days it was so cold I feared my testicles had turned into ovaries..if you know what I’m saying.

It won’t be too long until we have our first snowfall at the center. We all love to run and play in the snow. There is a ramp in our habitat that we use as a ski slope. Last year, as I was running up to the ramp to slide down it, I saw my reflection in one of the steel posts the enclosure is made of. The sight of such a handsome fox caused a momentary lapse in concentration. Instead of skiing down on my feet, I kinda slid on my head and hit the ground with a thud. While flopping around trying to right myself, I must have kicked the ramp. When I did get back on my feet, my first sight was a large pile of snow sliding down the ramp…It struck me broadside and promptly put me back on my keister. There will be no repeat performance this year as I’m now more habituated to my beauty.

Vlad out