Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Alright, I’m ready for my close up my fans. Can you see me? With so much going on around here, it would be easy to fade into the background which is one of the reasons I put so much effort into being extra special. The desire to not be invisible is very common. Everyone wants to be noticed, to feel relevant. This is why Yuri eats bear claws by the bushel. It would be impossible for a super sized platinum fox with sugary icing covering much of his body to go unnoticed. All of us ambassadors have this same desire but we express it in different ways. Generally in a manner less impactful to our blood glucose than Yuri. This it the art of being visible, doing so in a positive way. For instance, I can walk around here with a wad of 💩 stuck to my left temple and I will certainly get noticed, but at what cost to my reputation. If I am then interacting with someone, trying to convince them to take canid conservation seriously, all they will ever see is the guy who had a dookie on his head. By the way, I will not confirm or deny this has ever happened.
The reason it is so vital for us ambassadors to be visible is so we can share this spotlight with other canids in need, like the thousands of foxes living a bleak existence on fur farms. For some, the invisibility of these souls is advantageous and so they work hard to achieve it, with some success. Many people don’t even realize fur farms still exist, but they do. We need to make sure that these animals do not go quietly into the night, make sure they are seen. To scream it from the rooftops and shine the light of 1000 suns, as it’s been said that sunlight is the best disinfectant. Any industry so exploitive of animals certainly needs some major disinfecting.
A paradox that exists, in the desire to be visible, is everyone adopts camouflage. We try to blend in to be safe. If we were an ice cream it would be Vanilla as to not stand out. Personally, I choose Rocky Road. It’s hard to hide a marshmallow in a sea of chocolate, and shards of crushed nuts in smooth ice cream, may perforate a palate or two, but it’s just the price you pay to be seen. See me?
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - June 16, 2023
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. We have a very special guest for our chat today. He is one of JABCECC newest ambassadors on his first appearance on my chat. Please welcome Shaka. Hi Vlad, it’s great to finally meet you in person, I’ve heard so much about you. I know Shaka, it is great to meet me…now what exactly have you heard about me? All positive I trust. Well Vlad, let me just say everyone here has a lot to say about you. Ok Shaka, that is not exactly an answer but we can circle back to that later. So you are a black backed jackal, correct? Where are you guys from? Yes Vlad, I am a jackal and I’m from Minnesota, but if you’re asking where most black backed jackals are from, the answer is Africa. I see Shaka, let’s talk a bit about your name, does Shaka have a meaning. Well Vlad, many say the name means power. I think it was given to me because at JABCECC I will have the power to teach people about canids and hopefully get them to agree that killing us for senseless reasons is not acceptable. The name also was given to a Zulu chief that united the tribes to fight against injustices. When accompanied by a hand gesture, it has been associated with a laidback lifestyle. Legend has it that a sugar mill worker cut off all his fingers except his thumb and pinky. When he would wave he could only raise these two finger and soon others started to imitate him. Then a mayor in Honolulu started doing it while saying “Shaka Brah” and it stuck. Wow Shaka, that is a lot of information. Well Vlad, this is an education center so I’m here to educate. Excellent Shaka, now back to what the others are saying about me. I don’t know Vlad, just normal stuff. Panda said something about bringing you a ladder, and then said something else. Shaka, if that “something else” was “so he can get over himself” heads will roll. And by the way Shaka, you know what Panda calls you and your sisters??? The Jay holes. Vlad, there is a saying in Africa that goes “Uma uluma ungakhethi, ugcina usudla owakho umsila” which means when you bite indiscriminately, you end up eating your own tail. That all the time we have Shaka, ba bye.
Vlad out
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - June 2, 2023
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Well, it’s past Memorial Day and I guess that means everyone can wear white again until Labor Day. I’m not sure who made this rule and I’m quite sure it doesn’t apply to foxes. Even if it did, I’m a cross fox which means I am mostly orange, black and silver. I do have a white tip on my tail which I would proudly display before summer just to stick it to the man. Arctic fox Freddie snowball on the other hand is white during the whole winter, a walking fashion faux pas. He is a color morph called a shadow, so at least he gets to be white in the summertime. Most Arctic foxes lose their white fur and turn dark in the spring.
This “fashion rule” is just one of the many things that makes no sense to me. Like why a fly is called a fly but an ant is not a crawl, or an orange is an orange but a lemon isn’t a yellow or why do you bake cookies but cook bacon? Of course the most nonsensical of all, the thing I just can’t wrap my head around no matter what is a platypus. I will admit I don’t understand the need for fashion altogether. The fashion rules are probably made by someone sitting in some ivory tower figuring out ways to get you to buy more stuff. These are the same people trying to convince you that my fur, looks better on you, than it does on me.
Another thing to look forward in summer is barbecues. When management fires up the grill they always will share with us hard working ambassadors… I say “hard working” but the truth is we do have a few slackers in our ranks, I’m sure you could guess who they are. Anyway, as far as the BBQ, chicken hot dogs are the favorite around here. Now I know what you are thinking, “Vlad aren’t those full of chicken parts like beaks and chicken combs?”. You bet they are, the best parts. You know what they say about chicken combs? “Bet you can’t eat just one”.
It will be an exciting summer at JABCECC. Between the opening of the healing path dedicated to dogs, to the arrival of some new rescued ambassadors… FYI, management did tell me about these new arrivals, probably due to the hissy fit I threw about being left in the dark about Shaka and crew, the jackals.
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - May 19, 2023
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Just as Jackalpalloza was settling down around here, the third musketeer has shown up and jackal mania has now been dialed up to 11. You see when JABCECC was first contacted about these black backed jackals, we were informed that there were potentially three babies that needed a perfect home. Since our motto here is “no canid gets left behind” of course we agreed to give all of them a home. This motto has roots that go to the very beginning of the center. Boris and Sophie were the first Belyaev foxes to come to JABCECC. Initially only one of them was going to be rescued. Management was told to choose which one would come to America to live the good life. This just wasn’t going to be OK so a way was found to not leave one of them behind. The same was true for me coming to the center. When a researcher fell in love with Panda, JABCECC was asked if there was a way to get her here so she could be happy. Management agreed but soon found out Panda had 8 pals. Once again, none of us were left behind. In light of this, it’s no surprise that all the jackals were offered a home. Unfortunately, before they could make the trip, one of them broke their leg. In order to allow her time to heal and have continuity of care, jackals Shaka and Zuri came first, followed by Nalla once she healed. Now that we have all gotten to see what a pistol Nalla can be, there have been discussions that her injury might have been an inside job.
It has become clear to me that if I am to have any chance of getting these guys under control, I needed to learn more about jackals. During this research I learned that Black Backed Jackals are the most basal of the dog like canids. This means they are at the base of the evolutionary tree having been around for millions of years. I told Yuri about the jackals being basal and after what appeared to be a bout of deep thought he exclaimed. “That’s great, but actually I prefer oregano”. Oh Yuri, a sweet guy but if he ever has an intelligent thought it will surely die of loneliness.
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - May 12, 2023
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Crikey it was a busy week at the center. We had guests out doing behavioral testing on us foxes. Dr. Anna Kukekova, who is a professor of molecular genetics from the University of Illinois was among them. She has done some of the seminal work understanding how our genetics makes us Belyaev foxes so special. I actually overheard her speaking to management about some of the techniques she uses to sequence our DNA. Thankfully, just the other day on a trip to the loo, I picked up some reading material to entertain myself during my “quality time”. The books I randomly grabbed were, How to 💩 in the Woods (an environmentally sound approach to a lost art) by Kathleen Meyer, The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America by Matt Kracht and Molecular Genetics for Exceptionally Gifted Foxes. Knowing full well how to 💩 in the woods and already knowing how to identify a dumb bird, I started to read the book on genetics. It was fascinating and enabled me to understand what Dr. Kukekova was talking about.
Once they isolate our DNA they will sequence it on a machine from a company called Pac Bio. For those of you who have not read Molecular Genetics for Exceptionally Gifted Foxes, this means they will determine the order of certain compounds on the DNA strand. This used to be an incredibly laborious process that often had many errors. These new machines make it much faster and more accurate by reading a single molecule of DNA at a time. You can think of DNA in a cell like a pot of cooked spaghetti. Say your pasta noodles have basil, olives, tomatoes, and onions incorporated into them. When you look into the pot all you would see is a scrambled mess of noodles so it would be difficult to tell the order of ingredients on any one noodle. You need to pull a noodle out and stretch it, then you can look at the strand and one by one identify the order of your produce. This is kind of what the Pac Bio machine does to DNA.
Once the scientists know all the information about our DNA 🧬 they can see if they can find any associations between our sequences and our behaviors, hence the testing of our behavior.
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - April 28, 2023
Friday Chat w/Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Well, jackal fever is still going strong at JABCECC. The munchkins are growing like weeds and are eating pretty much non stop. And can we talk about the mischief they get into? Suffice it to say I am going to have my paws full instilling discipline into those little nippers. I can’t start working with them yet because they’re still in quarantine. One of the rules the center must follow to obtain the appropriate permits to have us here is to have a vet plan. This covers the procedures that need to be followed when new residents arrive. They need to get all their vaccinations and have some tests done to make sure everyone stays healthy. Until then, they can’t be close to others.
We are all very excited that we were able to procure a new transport vehicle. Up until this point, in order to go to our various functions, we had to borrow a van. While everyone was appreciative to have access to this vehicle, it was not the safest or most luxurious ride. First of all, during hard braking the van would bounce around like a hyperactive bucking bronco with a broken jar of fire ants under its saddle. On several occasions this caused me to spill my latte. Secondly, the air conditioner barely worked. If you’ve never spent two hours in a van next to a sweaty #dorkwolf, you don’t know the meaning of misery. Had we not gotten this vehicle, it would not have been long before we had to hitch rides to get around. I wouldn’t have any problem getting picked up, but have you seen the motley crew I travel with? Can you imagine the look on an unsuspecting motorists face when they stop to pick up the most handsome fox they’ve ever seen, and then out from behind a bush come 20 foxes, 3 Jackals, 2 coyotes and a #dorkwolf?
I recently sent Vasily out on a mission to check out our new wheels. He reported back that it is a Ford. I hear Bugatti also makes a van. I wonder why we didn’t get that one. Probably because it would cut into Yuri’s bear claw budget by too much. The price I pay for associating with that pastry munching boy.
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - April 21, 2023
Friday Chat w/Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. I’m guessing all my peeps have heard about our new ambassadors by now. I mean you’d really have to be living under a rock not to have heard about them. It’s been all jackals all the time here at JABCECC. It’s not that I’m jealous or anything, it’s just that I should have been given a heads up about the arrival of these guys. Apparently management was contacted a few weeks ago and asked if they would provide a forever home for some jackals. The first thing management did was to get the necessary permits in place, get their habitat figured out, get their veterinarian care settled, etc. The first thing they should have done was ask Vlad how he felt about it. I mean I’m the one who will need to shape them into ambassadors worthy of JABCECC. Anyway that’s water under the bridge now, so let me formally introduce our new black backed jackal residents, Shaka and Zuri.
When Yuri heard that the little jackal girl’s name was Zuri and that was so close to his name he got excited. He figured she would share his love of breakfast pastries. I told him to check Wikipedia for the diet of jackals. He told me it said medium and small animals, vegetation and human refuse. Just for fun he also checked what Wikipedia had to say about the diet of a red fox. Again, nary a mention of this beloved pastries. Since he saw this, he has been working feverishly to edit the Wikipedia information on the diet of a red fox to include bear claws. We all acknowledge Yuri is not the sharpest tool in the shed but should he be successful I apologize. Being opportunistic eaters I think it is safe to say most red foxes would not turn down a bear claw but with the exception of Yuri, bear claws do not make up a major portion of the diet of any red fox.
Yuri also learned that black backed jackals are indigenous to south and southeast Africa. Like red foxes, they are mesopredators. Also like red foxes, with the possible exception of Yuri, they are highly intelligent.
So now I find out Shaka and Zuri have a sister who is also coming to live with us. Why I have to learn such things from our social media pages is beyond me.
Vlad out
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - April 7, 2023
Friday Chat w/Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. I thought today we would put our intellectual hats on and discuss a question we get quite often. What is the difference between taming and domestication? Now I know this is not the most entertaining conversation. It’s certainly not as exciting as talking about Yuri getting his head caught in stuff.
I am a Russian domesticated fox. This means that first humans selectively bred my relatives for a particular trait, tameness. They did this for many years to a lot of foxes. They did this so much that it actually changed my genetics. This means that my offspring, if I were to have them, and we all know I am the most eligible bachelor around here, would be tame just because the fact that they possess my genetics. If someone were to take a wild fox baby and raise it away from other foxes and only around humans, this fox could grow up friendly to people. This fox is not domesticated because if it’s offspring were not socialized around people they would be just like other wild foxes. It’s tamed.
This can get tricky because different animals can be more or less susceptible to being tamed. Us foxes being of superior intellect do not look a gift horse in the mouth. If a human seems nice enough and wants to give us all the food we want, who are we to turn it down. We are ok calling this human our friend. Other animals might not be such opportunists. Some have even questioned if all house cats are actually domesticated or are they just tamed animals using humans for their tender vittles.
Animals like Nick and Stumpy fall into a grey area. While they can be quite friendly with people and they certainly enjoy a comfy sofa... mostly to sleep on but sometimes to eat, we don’t know enough about their evolutionary history to definitively categorize them. We do know that NGSDs can live in the wild without human help quite well and if not socialized can be very wary of humans. So they remain a enigma wrapped in a mystery.
Next time we speak we will go back to our normal fun and hijinks. I will see if I can get some pics of Yuri with a “kick me” sign stuck to his back side. That will be worthy of a lengthy chat.
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - March 24, 2023
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Greetings and salutations from sunny California…NOT. Have you guys heard about the weather out here?? It has been raining for what seems like weeks. As a matter of fact I recently sent a memo to management inquiring about the possible construction of an ark. When people out here talk about it they always end with “but we really needed the rain”. That is kind of like saying “but I really needed the root canal”. Sure, it may be helpful, but it is not something anyone really likes. Now I know what you are thinking….jeez Vlad, why are you out in the rain getting all wet when you have an absolutely delightful indoor habitat?? I will answer that by saying I am not going to let the rain spoil my day. After all without the rain there would be no rainbows 🌈. That does sound nauseatingly positive but the truth is there are always ways to keep oneself entertained even on days like these. For instance just a bit ago I told Yuri there was a bear claw pastry at the bottom of this big puddle and then watched in delight as he dove in face first only to reemerge with a mouth full of mud…good times.
Unfortunately the rain is delaying some of our important projects here. Both the healing path and the perimeter fence expansion are on hold until the weather clears. The healing path is the area dedicated to the most known and abundant canid, the domesticated dog. And of course the perimeter fence expansion will allow us to rescue more animals. Hopefully they both get back on track soon.
So until the sun comes back I will just be a soggy and slightly disgruntled fox. Luckily everyone here just loves the smell of wet fox in the morning. Truly something to put on your bucket list. I’ve just been told that Panda and Sergei are trying to get a game of water polo going in one of the larger puddles…l’m just not sure how they are going to get the horses in there, maybe we can use seahorses.
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - March 10, 2023
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. I hope all my peeps are doing well. You are all in luck as I have a special guest with me for our chat. I am pleased to introduce you to one of our senior ambassadors, Hello Mikhail. Hi Vlad, I’m happy to be here. Of course you are Mikhail. Why don’t you start by telling my Vladiators a little about yourself. Sure Vlad. I came to the center about 8 years ago with Viktor and Maksa. Originally only the two were coming but when management was informed that I didn’t have a home they decided to bring me over as well. You lucked out Mikhail. Yes Vlad, that is an understatement. Now Mikhail, you have a reputation around here for being friendly with all the other animals. That is true Vlad. You see my attitude is you don’t start nothin’ there won’t be nothin’. I hung out with our little apex predator New Guinea Singing Dogs, Nicky and Stumpy when they were just puppies. I also played with everyone’s favorite dorkwolf when he got here. The list goes on. I was the welcome wagon for Vinnie and Libby as well as your group Vlad, the Novosibirsk nine. I remember that well Mikhail, It was great that you were so nice to us from day one. I am happy to have helped you guys feel at home Vlad. I’m just so grateful to have ended up at JABCECC that I just want to “pay it forward”. That is a great attitude Mikhail…it is sometimes hard for me to be so positive. After all I am such an exceptional fox that demands so much of himself. Well Vlad, I would say humility can go a long way, also always look on the bright side. If a bird 💩s on your head, just be thankful elephants don’t fly. Mikhail are you suggesting I’m not humble, cause that’s what it sounds like and I am exceptional at being humble. Vlad…doth protest to much methinks…but seriously I need to get going, I promised Dimitri I would hang out with him for a bit. Ok, Mikhail. Thank you for your time.
Before I sign off Yuri requested I let everyone know he is still recruiting for his fan club, the Yurethras. So far the only interest was from the Mississippi chamber of commerce. They want to use the slogan, “Yuri..He puts the pee in Mississippi”.
Vlad out.