Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey guys, it’s Stumpy. Vlad could not be here today cause he has other business. I’m not sure what it is but he said something about world domination. Anyway those who have met me know I am a New Guinea Singing Dog. We have also been called New Guinea Dingoes or sometimes Forest Dingoes. This is cause in the wild we live in the cloud forests at high altitudes. The western world didn’t really know about us until the 1950s when some of us where sent to the San Diego zoo. We are considered primitive dogs. If you could go back in time thousands of years you would find us there. The same can not be said for Chiweenies, Chidoodles, Puggles, Schnoodles or the vast majority of dogs around today. My dad was born at the San Diego zoo and my mother was born at a zoo in Canada. Oh, and by the way, we are called singing dogs because of the unique sounds we make. I have a wonderful voice but the same can not be said for my mom. She always gets pitchy and then turns into a canine beat box.
My nickname is love and butterflies cause I love meeting new people and they all fall in love with me. My brother Nick is not nearly the social butterfly I am. I’m called Stumpy because I have a shortened tail. I do get a bit tired of hearing people say Nick has “a normal singer tail”. This would make me abnormal which is just ridiculous. I think my tail is just perfect and everyone I meet thinks so as well.
I know everyone tunes into Vlad’s chat to hear his snarky commentary but that is just not me…it’s not how I roll. I need to be authentic. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed learning more about me and New Guinea Singing Dogs. It would be great to get to meet some of you in person sometime. Until then stay real.
Have a great day
Stumpy
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - January 20, 2023
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Good morning my friends. We have a guest here today. Everyone please welcome Vasily. Howzit Vlad, I’m really amped to be here. Obviously Vasily…tell my Vladiators a little bit about yourself. Sure thing Vlad. I came to the center a few years ago. I am one of the Novosibirsk nine, who as you know where rescued as part of the Panda and her pals project. Now Vasily, don’t you think I was more instrumental in that rescue than Panda? Not at all bro. It was 100% Panda that got our butts out of there. Vasily, we can just agree to disagree about that for now. How do you feel about being called the “pretty boy” by everyone? You know Vlad, if I’m breaking hearts where ever I go that’s fine by me. I am a very rare color that some people call a Georgian red but is more accurately called a Georgian white with red. This just enhances my already bitchin’ foxy beauty. Sure Vasily, what about the notion that your super laid back. Right on Vlad, yeh I always try to hang loose and not sweat the small stuff. I have a roof over my head when I want it, good food, mental stimulation and all the love a fox could hope for…like is good. Now you Vlad, you seem to be a bit uptight at times. I’ve seen you go aggro at the smallest of things.. like that time Lena accidentally stepped on your shadow and you went all postal on her like a junk yard dog. Vlad, you need to practice the fine art of chillaxin’. It must be nice living without a care in the world Vasily. I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Lena but her reprimand probably saved canid lives and my existence while grotesque and incomprehensible to you saves canid lives. Really Vlad.. a few good foxes ?? Vasily, we could go round and round on your life style versus mine but we have a code Yuri drill to get prepare for. We always need to ready for when, not if, Yuri gets his head stuck in something. I’ll get the jaws of life warmed up, Vasily, you get the butter.
Vlad out
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - January 6, 2023
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Happy New Year to all my Vladiators. I spent it pretty low key snuggled up to my foxy vixens. Yep…I am sure it comes as no surprise to anyone but I am quite the ladies man. Whether it is my boyish good looks or my laser sharp wit or maybe the fact that I am a natural born leader but the ladies dig me. You know what I always say… lead, follow or get out of the way. I do possess a certain “je ne sais quoi”. that makes me irresistible. You can clearly see in the picture that Lena and Sasha are enjoying their “Vlad time” and then Leika comes over to get some Vlad lovin’ as well, No problem, there is plenty to go around.
In the wild quite often red foxes are monogamous. I say quite often cause there are some players out there. In reality at JABCECC we are all “fixed” but don’t tell anyone cause I have my reputation to think about.
I hope all my devoted followers had a delightful New Years and you got to spend quality time with those close to you. We are all now motivated and energized and ready to fight for the canid cause.
Vlad out
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - December 23, 2022
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. So only a few more days until Christmas and as such us foxes put together a little present for all my Vladiators. We all worked real hard training our trainers to give us our favorite treats so we could accomplish this. They call this activity mental enrichment....we call it an easy way to get chicken. We tried to include a cameo by Lucan aka #dorkwolf but he couldn’t seem to get past trying to eat the bells. Oh and I apologize for Panda’s performance at the end. She likes to showboat. I try to explain to her there is no “I” in team but it falls on deaf ears.
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - December 9, 2022
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. A chill is in the air at the center. The forecast says we are going to get snow on Monday. All of us foxes 🦊 are getting our thick and plush winter coats. This can only mean that it is the holiday season. As such I have made out my Christmas list for all of the ambassadors. I will share it with my Vladiators so you can tell me what you think.
Boris) “Ask me if I give a fox” coffee mug
Sophie) paperback “the art of silence”
Ishy) subscription to cucumber of the month club
Viktor) audiobook “Sharing the Spotlight”
Mikhail) 24 x 30 Ninja fox poster
Maksa) “it girl” bumper sticker
Panda) eucalyptus air freshener
Dimitri) nose work scent pack
Vasily) Pretty Boy-simple man skin care
Leika) stress ball
Sasha) Belly Jelly belly rub cream
Lena) paperback “the curse of high IQ”
Sergei) Dr. Pooper power plush chew toy
Yuri) Little Debbie cream cake variety pack
Vinnie) pet rock
Freddy) Frosty the snowman snow cone maker
Agnes) hardcover “Coyote America”
Wilson) “I’m with stupid” T shirt
Stumpy) Tuvian throat singing for beginners
Nicky) Truckers cap with New Guinea patch
Lucan) Chrome plated pooped scooper…xtra large
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - December 2, 2022
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. I gotta tell you I’ve been busier than a toothless beaver these last few weeks. It started with a presentation at a local children’s museum. We believe it is important to show kids at a young age the value of living in harmony with all living things. That being said, have you ever tried to promote harmony in a pack of 250 three to six year olds? All I can say is it’s harder than wrestling a peanut butter cannoli away from Yuri. I can’t attend these events for security reasons but Viktor, Maksa and Lena did a stellar job at managing the mayhem. Given the circumstances it went very well and everyone had a good time and left with a greater appreciation for foxes.
A few days later we made an appearance at a children’s birthday party. Viktor is often referred to as Mr. party in a box so he is right in his element at these events. The only problem came when a different birthday party, that was occurring nearby, learned of our presence. The organizer of this party thought it would be a grand idea to book a Spider-Man for their event. The choice between some b rate actor, who probably couldn’t even get a role in hemorrhoid commercials, dressed in red and blue PJs, vs. real foxes was clear to the kids...the desertions started as a trickle but then became a torrent. What can I say, we’re a pretty big deal.
As if all this was not enough we then had our first annual Wolfenoot celebration. There was a huge turnout for this event which featured Mr #dorkwolf himself Lucan. The theme of Wolfenoot is kindness to both humans and animals. We had all the kids, and some adults, fill out a commitment to kindness where they became contractually bound to an act of kindness in 2023. We had many different types of commitments from working on world peace, clearly a future pageant contestant, to not punching my brother, to helping organizations that help canids. Hopefully they all read the fine print in the contract so they realize what’s coming their way if the don’t follow through.💩
So now we are all just enjoying some rest and relaxation until we do it all again. The work of a canid crusader is truly never done.
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - November 18, 2022
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Yuri. I have hijacked Vlad’s chat this week to speak directly with the people he calls his “Vladiators”. It has come to my attention that on multiple occasions Vlad has made me out to be this bearclaw eating nincompoop that is continually getting his head caught in things. I went through the trouble of hacking into Vlad’s account so I can set matters straight….actually it wasn’t too much trouble. His password “Vladisgreat1234” was a no brainer.
So I am not going to lie, I do like bearclaws. What’s not to like about a tender rich dough, filled with a luscious and sweet almond filling. I mean all breakfast pastries, be they twists or twirlies or turnovers, croissants or cruffins or crullers are gifts from above. Just writing about them makes me feel like Pavlov’s fox…excuse me while I get a napkin. I am however in no way obsessed with them.
As for me getting my head stuck in things, all I’ll say is while that has happened, it does not occur to the extent Vlad implies. Vlad has told you there is an emergency crew on 24 hour standby waiting for someone to call a “code Yuri”, in which case they rush to my enclosure with the jaws of life and a stick of butter for use in extricating my head from what ever it is stuck in. I have no first hand knowledge of such a crew but I have woken up with butter on my head on more than one occasion. In my defense I do have a rather large head compared to the other foxes. If I see Panda with her head in a box, of course I am going to stick my head in there…what if there is a cream puff in the box? Anyway, the majority of the time, I walk around without my head stuck in anything.
I hope you all can see that the picture Vlad paints of me is just a caricature and in reality I am a very complex fox. Lastly, please don’t let Vlad know I highjacked his chat. He has a tendency to get worked up over such things. If you do this for me you can be part of my fan club I’m starting. I will call members my Yurethras. Our slogan is “be nice to foxes or you can just p*ss off”
Yuri out
#fridaychatwithvlad #yuri #bearclaw #urethra #Yuethra #p*ssoff @dunkin
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - November 11, 2022
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. What you see here is me shut inside, by myself, while all the others are in the play yard. Now if you were to ask the others why this is the case, they would say a new toy was put outside and I don’t play well with others in this circumstance. I’m sure all my Vladiators realize this would just be their feeble attempt to besmirch my character. I mean its self evident that when a new toy appears I should get the first crack at it but that point is moot. It is my personal choice to be inside. I will use this time to go through my copious amounts of fan mail . Maybe if the others got ANY fan mail they would understand. So let’s get right to it.
Our first letter comes from Timmy of Toad Stuck Arkansas. “Hi Vlad. I am 12 years old and am in 7th grade at Carl Stuart middle school. My science teacher, Miss Clutterbuck, said I can write a report on red foxes. I could really use a cool fact about foxes so I can get an A on my report”. Sure thing Timmy. Foxes have great hearing as do most canids but what really stands out about our auditory sense is our ability to hear very quiet low frequency sounds. This helps us to locate small animals digging under the ground. If you try to sneak up on a fox and have a mechanical watch on, we can hear it from over 100 feet away. How’s that fun fact sound?
Next we will hear from Roberto from Puddlerun New Mexico. “Greetings Vlad. I think I was a fox in a previous life as I try to be just like you. The fact that you are so irreverent and yet so lovable is truly inspirational. Vlad, what is your favorite color? Please say it is green cause that is mine”. Hi Roberto, I would love to comply with your request but unfortunately foxes are red-green color blind so my favorite color is mustard. I can understand however why you would be so green with envy.
I just got a report from the play yard. It appears that Leika was hogging the new toy so the others got together and waterboarded her. I bet she is wishing lovable Vladdy was out there to keep order. Live and learn.
Vlad out.
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - November 4, 2022
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. We just got some “glamour shots” back that Yuri had taken by a photographer that goes by the name Dandelion Dreams. Now I told Yuri he should lay of the bearclaws for a few weeks before the shoot so he would be in peak condition. As you can see he did not heed my advise. I wanted him to be a lean mean foxy machine but instead he was a flabby gabby foxy fatty.
My purpose here is not to body shame Yuri. If eating large quantities of breakfast pastries makes him happy, who am I to judge him for that. I just question how seriously Yuri takes his job. He is an ambassador for all foxes both in captivity and living in the wild. Many of these animals survive by virtue of their cunning nature and their athleticism. I am just not sure how well Yuri, walking around like the Pillsbury dough boy, represents that. When I talk to him about this he just tells me to stop being a buzzkill and walks away. Yuri truly has a lot of nerve saying that to me. He seems to have forgotten who saved him when he crawled into an empty box of sticky buns only to find out it was not quite empty. The residual icing in the box stuck to his hair and bonded the box to his a** 🐴. He walked around that way for hours before I saw him and alerted management. We have a special term for just this type of occurrence...we call it a code dingbat. We have this drill down quite well as unfortunately this was not Yuri’s first code dingbat...he is actually the poster child for them.
Vlad out
Fridays Chat w/Vlad - October 21, 2022
Friday Chat w/ Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. Have you ever been standing there, minding your own business, when someone rushes up to you out of nowhere? At first you might think oh, this is great, they must want to give you treats or rub your belly, but then you become aware that may not be the case. As they get closer you realize they are there to cut your nails, pull clumps of hair out of your tail or god forbid...give you a pill. Whatever heinous act they have in mind there is really only one thing you can do. Hit the high road, get out of dodge, skedaddle, don’t let the screen door hit ya where the good lord split ya, blow this pop stand, Elvis has left the building. Yes, that’s right turn tail and run like you’re being chased by a rabid wolverine with antisocial personality disorder..and that’s what I did.
The video I posted is shown in slow motion to allow you to see the beauty of my gait and also to add cinematographic creativity. This effect comes from a TV show popular in the late 70s. Now you might ask “why would you, Vlad, know of anything from the late 70s seeing as you are not even 3 years old”. The answer my friends is English is not my first language, my first language is of course fox. This is actually a very robust language with many different vocalizations. My most used being a whooping alarm call which is understood by everyone to mean, come quickly, Yuri has got his head stuck in something again. Anyway, being an ambassador means interacting with people and understanding English is helpful. I gained this understanding by binge watching 70s and 80s TV shows. One of my favorites, and it’s a crime it never got an Emmy, was the Bionic Woman, which is where this stunning effect comes from. The paradox of inferring speed from a lack thereof. Many of you younger Vladiators may never have had the pleasure of viewing this jewel so I have included a link.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hpCZ7cB4vOU
I selected this particular clip because is has special relevance to a JABCECC ambassador. If any knows what that is, 1000 points and an attaboy from Vlad.
Vlad Out.